Anxiety,Social Anxiety,Anxiety Disorder,Social Anxiety Disorder,Paxil,Anxiety Drug Treatment,Extreme Anxiety,Depression Anxiety,Depressant Drugs,Anxiety Drug - Real Solutions for Combatting Extreme Shyness
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Real Solutions for Combatting Extreme Shyness
Most people experience some degree of shyness from time to time,
depending on the situation. In fact, only about 7% of the
population claims that they never feel shy. For the rest of us,
shyness can range from being an occasional, minor inconvenience,
to being a major problem.
Some people however, are afflicted with a degree of shyness so
severe that it is almost disabling. This type of acute shyness
is not only very painful to experience, but it can have
devastating effects on a person's social life, happiness, and
career.
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Severe shyness is a complex mix of biology, upbringing,
traumatic experiences, and negative self-talk. Severe shyness
can co-exist with other debilitating psychological conditions
such as low self-esteem, perfectionism, depression and anxiety.
Extreme shyness can take many forms, and can show up differently
in different people. Some very shy people have problems being in
large gatherings, yet feel comfortable in small groups. Some shy
people only feel acute discomfort with persons they have just
met, while others are never comfortable around people, even with
those they have known a long time.
Psychiatrists and psychologists use the term 'social anxiety
disorder (SAD)' to describe extremely debilitating shyness.
There isn't complete agreement about whether severe, disabling
social anxiety disorder is simply a more severe type of shyness,
or whether it is another type of disorder altogether.
Some very shy people are able to overcome their fears by
learning social skills and practicing them frequently in social
situations. Many also find it useful to gain some measure of
control over their uncomfortable physical reactions such as
sweating and trembling, by using special relaxation techniques
and bio-feedback training.
Many very shy people deal with their extreme anxiety by simply
avoiding any social situations that might trigger their
discomfort. This may mean turning down invitations to parties
and other social events, crossing the street in order to avoid
running into someone they know, and even turning down promotions
at work.
Although avoiding the feared situation may seem to the shy
person like the perfect solution, it actually makes the problem
worse in the long run. Every time a shy person chooses to avoid
social interaction, he reinforces in his mind how much he fears
dealing with other people. By choosing the short-term benefit of
avoiding his anxious feelings, he reinforces the power that his
fear holds over him
Psychologists who specialize in the treatment of shyness
disorders have discovered that avoiding social situations can
actually make the problem worse. Many psychologists who treat
people afflicted by shyness recommend a program of repeated and
gradually increasing exposure to the feared situation, combined
with helping the client learn new ways of thinking.
Various psychological therapies have been used to treat extreme
shyness, most of them with limited success. The most successful
approaches use some variation of cognitive therapy, or
behavioral therapy, or both of these, combined with graduated
and increasing exposure to the feared situation.
In cognitive therapy, the patient is taught to notice the
thoughts he is thinking while he is in the feared situation. The
client learns to challenge his thoughts to see if they fit
reality. If these thoughts do not match the reality, the client
is taught to substitute more realistic thoughts in their place.
Behavioral therapy aims to change the client's behavior using a
program of positive reinforcement of the desired behavior, and
negative reinforcement of the undesired behavior.
Both cognitive therapy and behavior therapy focus on teaching
the client to deal with situations and symptoms in the present.
Neither form of therapy delves into situations in the client's
distant past. Those forms of psychotherapy that attempt to deal
with shyness by delving into the client's past history have not
been shown to be effective. in cognitive therapy techniques.
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There are many books that can teach the reader to effectively
use cognitive therapy techniques for both depression and
loneliness. If your case is not particularly severe, you can
often learn enough from reading a book and doing the recommended
exercises to greatly relieve your symptoms of shyness or
depression. Dr. David Burns, one of the pioneers in bringing
cognitive therapy to a wider audience, has written several very
useful books and workbooks for the general public, including
'Intimate Connections' and 'Feeling Good--the New Mood Therapy.'
In the past decade, researchers have discovered that some
anti-depressant medications, particularly the so-called SSRI's
(selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors), can also be very
helpful in the treatment of extreme shyness. One of these SSRI
drugs, Paxil, was the first to receive American F.D.A. approval
as an effective treatment for social anxiety. In fact, ads for
Paxil as a treatment for social anxiety have been marketed
directly to the public, not just to doctors. Other
anti-depressant drugs in the SSRI group are also believed to
help in reliving social anxiety.
Does drug treatment for shyness really work? Some very socially
anxious people have tried everything that regular psychotherapy
has to offer, including cognitive therapy, yet they still suffer
debilitating symptoms of shyness until they try SSRI drugs. In
some cases, the improvement in sociability after taking SSRI
drugs can be swift and profound. This class of drugs seems to
help the socially anxious person turn down the excessive volume
of their inner judgmental thoughts.
If you are shy or socially anxious, should you take a pill to
make you more friendly? There are pros and cons to be considered
when deciding whether or not to take a drug for social anxiety.
The SSRI drugs can cause nervous agitation, insomnia, weight
gain, and sexual dysfunction, as well as many other less common
side effects.
Some doctors and psychologists are concerned that a normal human
trait, shyness, has been declared a medical condition requiring
expensive pharmaceutical intervention. Because the SSRI drugs
are relatively new, it is not yet known what the long-term
effects of this class of drugs may be. Nevertheless, the SSRI
drugs are very widely prescribed, particularly in North America,
for depression and social anxiety.
In most locations it is easier to find a doctor who will
prescribe SSRI medication to combat shyness than it is to find a
counselor trained in the use of therapy effective in treating
shyness disorders.
The difference in shyness experienced with drug therapy can be
quite astounding, but it will likely last only as long as the
drug is taken on a regular basis. When the drug is discontinued,
the symptoms of shyness will likely reappear. With the proper
psychotherapy for shyness, the positive results are likely to be
long lasting.
About the author:
This article is an excerpt from the new downloadable book by
Royane Real titled "Your Guide to Finding Friends, Making
Friends, and Keeping Friends" available at
http://www.royanereal.com
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